The impact of hearing loss on relationships

"It's not all about you," as they say. This applies to many areas of life, but it is particularly true if your hearing isn't what it used to be. You might think your hearing loss only affects you, but studies show it can also negatively impact your relationships.

Thankfully, with some adjustments, you can reduce the impact of hearing loss on your relationship.

How does hearing loss affect relationships?

Research makes it pretty clear that untreated hearing loss can be a major source of stress and frustration in relationships, especially romantic partnerships.

"Studies show that hearing loss produces feelings of frustration, embarrassment, and distress for the partner and for the relationship in general," said two researchers who conducted a qualitative study of couples where one partner had hearing loss.

Communication becomes more difficult

Day-to-day communication among couples, whether about important matters or those that seem trivial, are the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. 

When communication starts to break down, frustration often follows. Over time, that frustration can turn into resentment, further straining connection and intimacy. The result can be a growing sense of loneliness and isolation for both partners.

Frustration and isolation can grow

It’s common for hearing loss to bring up difficult emotions and relationship changes, including:

• Frustration
• Resentment from frequently compensating (for example, acting as a go-between or repeating what wasn’t heard)
• Loneliness or feeling a loss of companionship
• Withdrawing from social activities
• Less intimate conversation and joking with family
• Ongoing shared communication difficulties
• Fewer shared activities, such as watching TV together
• Speaking less overall, keeping words to a minimum

“All too often spouses blame each other’s ability to listen when in fact it is truly a hearing problem that is chipping away at their ability to communicate,” said audiologist Patricia Chute, professor and chair of the Division of Health Professions at Mercy College in Dobbs Ferry, N.Y.

How do you talk to your spouse about hearing loss?

Living with a spouse or partner who can’t hear can be frustrating. If they constantly ask you to repeat yourself, turn up the volume on the television to an uncomfortable level, or have trouble hearing the telephone, microwave or doorbell chime, it might be time to have a heart-to-heart chat.

Pick a quiet time when the two of you are in a good mood and you can talk uninterrupted. Use a firm but caring tone that is not judgmental or condescending.

• Tell them it's affecting your relationship. Hearing loss affects communication, which is the core of all relationships. Be open about your frustrations when it comes to communication struggles.
• Tell them you’re concerned for their health. When hearing loss is left untreated, the speech and language areas of the brain can atrophy, leading to auditory deprivation.
• Tell them you’re concerned for your own health. The additional stress of worrying about your other half's health and safety can take a physical and emotional toll on your own health. Plus, it's no fun to listen to the TV or stereo when it's cranked up too high, or having to shout or constantly repeat yourself.
• Make an appointment to have your own hearing tested and ask them to go with you. It's a good thing to do anyway, and the hearing evaluation process is so simple and easy, they might just agree to have their own test.
• Discuss hearing loss's broad impact. They may not be aware of all the ways that their hearing loss is lowering their quality of life. Discuss the 10 signs of hearing loss with them, including signs like fatigue and feeling frustrated a lot.

What to do if your partner asks you to get a hearing test?

Hearing loss is a equal opportunity offender, so it’s not inconceivable your spouse may gently suggest you have your hearing evaluated one day. If he or she does...

• Be receptive and try not to be offended. Hearing loss statistics show 48 million Americans reporting some degree of hearing loss, so you're not alone. 
• Educate yourself about hearing loss. There are many different types of hearing loss and reasons why you should treat it. 
• Agree to have your hearing tested. Only a qualified hearing healthcare professional can determine whether or not you have hearing loss, and to what extent. Fortunately, hearing tests are easy and painless. Some hearing centers even offer free evaluations with no obligation to purchase anything. 
• Accept the diagnosis and seek treatment as soon as possible. Of the 48 million Americans with hearing loss, the NIDCD estimates more than 28.8 million of them would benefit from wearing hearing aids. Your hearing healthcare professional can help you find a treatment solution that fits your lifestyle as well as your pocketbook.

Regardless of who is on the receiving end of this serious health conversation, try to also have a sense of humor. Being able to laugh together can help diffuse the situation and put both of you at ease.

Can hearing aids help relationships?

Yes, they can. Wearing hearing aids not only improves your hearing, it improves your intimate relationships. Opening up that extra channel of communication can stimulate conversation and reduce frustration, providing better understanding of one another. 

Specifically, hearing aids can benefit a relationship because they:

• Reduce miscommunication
• Lower frustration and tension
• Ease the burden placed on your partner to compensate for your hearing loss
• Make it easier to have a real conversation
• Allow you to become better attuned to your partner's needs

Living with hearing loss requires extra effort. But it requires a lot less effort if you take the available options to improve your hearing. Doing so will not only relieve the stress you experience every day, but reduce the stress it places on your loved one.

Constant communication is necessary in a relationship, and communication comes much easier when you can hear one another.

Bottom line: Don't let your relationships suffer because of hearing loss

Treatments such as hearing aids can not only improve quality of life, but can improve relationship satisfaction, communication and social functioning.

From having intimate conversations with their partners to watching TV together or socializing, people who get hearing aids find that they are once again able to enjoy life. And more importantly, they are able to enjoy life once again as a part of a couple.

If you are experiencing communication issues due to hearing loss, don’t wait to seek treatment. Make an appointment with a local hearing care professional today.